Log in


Game Reviews, News, Guides, and Humor



The Definitive Blueprint to Every RPG Ever

Tuesday, October 19th, 2010 by

After looking over this flowchart of role playing caveats, I see no point in playing another JRPG ever again. To be completely fair, though, it’s not entirely accurate. I can’t remember the last time I encountered a profanity filter when naming my hero. But then again, “Cockblaster Z” might not actually be considered profane.

Click the image for a larger, more appreciable view.

scan via Game Informer magazine
Every RPG Ever [reddit.com]

About the Author

Mark A. Brooks uses the A. initial in his name so as to seperate himself from the teeming legions of other Mark Brookses (there are at least 65,000 in the state of Michigan alone). Keep up with him on twitter, because why not. @unoriginalG

Mark A. Brooks has written 572 posts on Delta Attack
.

  • Markham Asylum

    You’re right, it’s not completely accurate, but it is funny.

    BTW, I think “Cockblaster Z” is only offensive if the Z stands for Zoo or Zucchini.

    • mulletsaurus

      Why are these “ancient” devices so futuristic?

      • Markham Asylum

        I think it’s kind of like Star Wars:

        “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…”

        If a civilization’s far enough away, it could have any sort of technology, regardless of the time in relation to our present day.

        Or maybe it’s just to make shit look cool.

        • mulletsaurus

          It’s the JRPG way. It was cool the first couple times. “The Giant of Bab-il is so ANCIENT yet so ULTRAMODERN”, or “Whoa, the kingdom of Zeal is super fucking advanced!” Twenty years or so later it’s so staple it doesn’t have any of its intended effect anymore.

          But I still love those cliches, in a way. Part of me will never let them go.

          • Markham Asylum

            I hear you. Of course, Final Fantasy 4 and Chrono Trigger were early JRPG games for both of us, so they had a large impact. Sad to say, if the first JRPG we had ever played was FF8, we probably would have thought it was the shit.

  • http://www.ikecube.com/?utm_source=Delta%2BAttack&utm_medium=Profile&utm_campaign=Delta%2BAt ikecube

    when I looked at this a bit back, I thought what a flow chart for an RPG that I designed would look like.

    Probably would look like a klein bottle.

http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/cloudstone-soundtrack/id625361083?uo=4&partnerId=30