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Top 10 Reasons to Play Duke Nukem Forever

Monday, February 14th, 2011 by

DA: Duke Nukem Banner

Duke Nukem (due out May 3rd, 2011) is well known for being in development hell for the past 12 years, and has won numerous Vaporware awards during that time. As someone who played the 2D platformer on PC, and battled through the 3D game in the mid 90s, I am eagerly awaiting this release. Here are 10 reasons you should play this game too:

10) Duke Nukem is new to a younger Generation of gamers
A fresher, younger, virgin generation of gamers have never experienced Duke Nukem: not as a 2D side-scrolling adventure, and certainly not as an in-your-face lite-hearted First Person Shooter. Suffice to say that “these young un’s don’t know what they are getting into!”. No doubt that they will reap the most enjoyment from this game.

9) Final Development by Gearbox Software
Gearbox is successful by most measures of game development, and since the product was “mostly finished” once they took on final development, they’ve been able to put resources into polish instead of core development. This should make the game feel very polished and complete – yet another benefit for those of us who are to play the game.

8 ) After 12 years it has to be good, right?
Since development began:

  • There have been 7 “Final” Fantasies.
  • Your niece has entered her last year of high school.
  • IkeCube has gone bald

And In less, or the same amount of time:

  • The Wright brothers designed and flew their first airplane
  • The complete development of the atomic bomb
  • World War II starts and ends.

(more at: http://duke.a-13.net/ )

Those are some pretty epic stories to be told in a lesser time-span. It also sets the bar incredibly high for those of us who have waited for these 12 years for Duke. Fortunately, most things tend to get better with age and experience.

7) Forged with fire, passion, and more than $30 million + 12 years of a man’s life
Somewhat like Chrysler’s commercial for Detroit, you can believe that Duke Nukem Forever could only survive its long and storied development-hell if there were a burning passion and commitment to giving Duke another shot at kicking ass.
“It’s the hottest fires that makes the hardest balls of steel.

6) You bought it once already
Were you one of the handful of gamers that pre-ordered Duke? Did you get a refund, or will they still honor your 12 year old ticket? How much did you pay and what does that mean in inflation-adjusted currency? Regardless, if you pre-ordered it once, you can be mostly sure that this time your pre-order will be honored.

5) Balls of Steel Collector’s Edition
Including a Greek/Roman-esque Bust of Duke Nukem, this is one of the coolest collector’s editions I have ever seen and a great reason to buy and play Duke Nukem Forever. See the details here. [forbes.com]

4) Zombified Vaporware
Duke Nukem Forever is one of the most outrageous stories of vaporware death, revival, zombified, head-shotted, and resurrected ridiculousness ever. For something that just-won’t-stay-DEAD, I’d say it is worth a shot.

3) IkeCube of DeltaAttack.com will be playing it
That’s right readers, IkeCube of deltaattack.com will be purchasing this title for PC and looking for you in multiplayer deathmatch to give you a steel teabag. Who wouldn’t want that?!

2) Final Duke Nukem Installment
2 million units need to be moved for consideration of doing another installment. Plus, there is not a shot in hell that the middle-school aged project will break-even against total development costs of the past 12 years. Not to mention that cultural stereotypes of Duke Nukem’s brash American machismo may be found distasteful amongst a culturally-sensitive anti-Western worldwide audience. Even some Americans may find Duke’s embodiment of 90’s American bravado somewhat unappealing. The challenges and perceptions that Duke has to overcome are great. If this is truly the last Duke to be made, you will probably want to play it.

1) You’re “All out of gum”
Which means it’s time to kick ass.

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[image from http://windows7themes.net]

About the Author

I was introduced to video games on the Atari 2600, and quickly moved to a Nintendo, where The Legend of Zelda, Metroid, and Dragon Warrior dominated my early non-Mario years. Now days, I do mostly PC gaming, and some console gaming. I’ve been in and out of rehab, and there’s no saving a nerd like me.

ikecube has written 101 posts on Delta Attack

One Response to “Top 10 Reasons to Play Duke Nukem Forever”

  1. Markham Asylum says:

    I want a steel teabag.

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