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Sorry, Lions fans. Megatron wins Madden NFL ’13 cover vote.

Wednesday, April 25th, 2012 by

Oh, Detroit, haven’t you had enough pain in recent years? You were on the rise, what with that Chrysler Eminem commercial and… well… the Lions made the playoffs for the first time since 1999. That was something, right? I mean, the job market’s still just… yeah… but… anyway.

Now your star wide receiver, Calvin Johnson, is on the cover of Madden after beating Cam Newton 52%-48%. Your dreams of a Super Bowl behind Suh, Johnson, and Stafford went out the window. That picture of Johnson needing a little help to get off the field? That’s the past as prologue.

All kidding aside, the Madden curse is really just the law of averages at work. It’s not like Joe Theismann was on the cover of Madden NFL ’85 when Lawrence Taylor’s knee went straight through his lower leg. Football is a high-impact sport and significant injuries are to be expected. It doesn’t matter if Gregg Williams is the defensive coordinator or not, someone’s out to hurt you just to get in your head.

I hope this is the year we can put all the Madden curse talk behind us. Until then, who wants to take bets on how Calvin Johnson’s year will be a downer? My money’s on a Matthew Stafford injury. Then, everyone will point out Megatron’s lower statistical output. That’s right, I’m calling for a lack of production, not a traumatizing injury. Not for Johnson, anyway.

Now, let’s get ready for the NFL Draft. Get your popcorn ready! I’m so excited, I think I just peed a little. It’s cool. I’m doing this from the toilet. Seated. Don’t ask.

About the Author

Fade to Slack is a founding member of Delta Attack, an American expatriate in South Korea, and a true believer in the legitimacy of mobile gaming. Keep up with him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/Fade2Slack so he can justify having a Twitter account.

Fade to Slack has written 352 posts on Delta Attack

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