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Punch-Out’s Little Mac is coming to Smash Bros.

February 13th, 2014 by

smashbros_littlemac

Today’s Nintendo Direct kicked off with a punch. It was like a kick-punch, though.

Little Mac, the undersized underdog from the Punch-Out series, was announced as a playable character in Super Smash Bros. for 3DS and Wii U.

For people like me who grew up with 007 373 5963 deeply ingrained into our very being, this is terrific news. Seeing as my friends would only play Super Smash Bros. Brawl with Assist Trophies turned off, this makes him pretty much all new for me.

Crap... don't let Anita Sarkeesian see this screen.

Crap. Whatever you do, don’t let Anita Sarkeesian see this screen.

For those of you keeping score at home, this brings the current playable character count to 23, still a far cry from Super Smash Bros. Brawl’s 35 selectable characters. More names will be announced, surely, but Mega Man versus Little Mac is kind of a dream come true for me.

“The size of the fight in the dog” was kind of my mantra growing up.

Just a few hours until Flappy Bird is no more.

February 9th, 2014 by

flappy_bird_buhbye

Likely inundated by his sudden rise from obscurity to the top of the App Charts and the subsequent fame that comes with it, Vietnamese Flappy Bird developer Dong Nguyen is doing the only thing he can to get his life back to normal.

Dong Nguyen stated on his Twitter account, @dongatory, that he’ll be removing it from the App Store in 22 hours. That was 19 hours ago. So by my math, that means you’ve got something like um… airspeed velocity… obviously Mario World… carry the remainder… Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop… one… two… three. Yes, you have three hours left. Thanks, Mister Owl!

Flappy Bird currently brings in about $50,000 a day in ad revenue according to this interview from The Verge, but sports stars and lotto winners can tell you that mo’ money equals mo’ problems. There’s no telling how many family members have already hit him up for cash or how many reporters have reached out for an interview about this game whose reviews seem about on par with The Mountain Three Wolf Moon shirt over on Amazon.

Way to go, Internet. You made a guy rich and possibly break down.

If you, like me, have somehow managed to avoid the Flappy Bird phenomenon, now’s your last chance to do it.

Let’s see what all this fuss is about. And… download…

New Dark Souls II Trailer Rears Its Wicked, Horned Head

January 16th, 2014 by

So, who’s excited for Dark Souls II? Oh, that’s right – everybody. At least, everyone should be. While this new trailer only serves to tell us what we already supposed (you will die a thousand deaths, this time in a new land!), it does herald the soon-to-be release date, which is excitement enough for those of us waiting to lose our souls once more.

March 11 for North America, in case you were wondering.

A look at South Korea’s officially licensed Mario toys

January 12th, 2014 by

mario_kart_front_small

While shopping here in South Korea last month, I came across a few Nintendo-licensed Mario toys. And by toys, I mean marble mazes with Mario branding.

Originally, I chalked this up to some shoddy licensing by Nintendo of Korea. This is a culture that is so out of touch with the modern pulse of society that lawmakers have considered lumping video games in with gambling, drugs, and alcohol for their life-ruining abilities. So, here’s a twisting, turning, moving mess of plastic that bridges the gap between reality and gaming so parents can interact.

Look at all those features. Marbles. Mazes. Stickers!

Look at all those features. Marbles. Mazes. Stickers. What fun!

I mean, it can’t be that alcohol is so cheap that parents drink themselves into a stupor and children go to school three times as long as they sleep that is ruining this culture of socially underdeveloped young adults, right? No, it’s definitely the games that are out of control, you morally-conservative twits.

Capcom gets artsy with Street Fighter prints

December 17th, 2013 by
Go home and be a family man!

Go home and be a family man!

Do you like Street Fighter? Do you like art? Do you like Street Fighter art? Well, get ready for a highbrow Hadouken.

In recognition of 25 years of Street Fighter, Capcom is teaming up with Cook & Becker to release “limited-edition museum-grade Street Fighter ™ art prints” for the masses. You’ve seen the images in magazines, strategy guides, and instruction booklets. Now, let’s hang them on the walls!

Snarkiness aside, this is a beautiful collection that a very select few enthusiasts are going to get their grubby mitts on. I’ve got my eye on the pictured Guile & Chun-Li piece, and not just because of the gratuitous panties. Honestly, it’s just an excuse to play Guile’s theme as the soundtrack to my life. I don’t know if you know this or not, but it pretty much goes with everything.

Notably missing is concept art from Street Fighter 2010. Why no love for cyborg Ken, Capcom?

These pieces are rather pricey, but they’re also very beautiful. If you’ve got the cash and the gumption, then head over to the Cook & Becker webpage for more details.

Full press release and a few more print examples after the jump.

Tomb Raider lands in the App Store

December 17th, 2013 by

tomb_raider_original

Proving that Final Fantasy isn’t the only franchise they’re willing to bleed dry for nostalgic gamers in the mobile space, Square Enix has released “Tomb Raider I” into the Apple App Store.

Wonky cameras, shoddy jumping, and square boobs can all be yours for ninety-nine cents. That’s a surprisingly small price to pay for a trip down memory lane, isn’t it?

While Tomb Raider didn’t necessarily require a lot of precision, having been released on the original Playstation back in 1996 before the advent of the Dual Shock, touch controls are touch controls. That control overlay in the screen above is the kind of thing I see in my nerdiest nightmares. So, enter at your own peril, adventurers.

No word on what version of Tomb Raider is featured, but you’ve got to imagine it’s the original with the Tomb Raider Gold levels to be released as DLC some time down the road. This is Square Enix we’re talking about here.

With over 7 million sales of the original game, tons of people are about to donate a dollar towards nostalgia before remembering just how far 3D platform adventure games have come in the past 17 years. To them, I say, “Kudos!”

App Store Link – [Tomb Raider I]

Real Racing 3 to FINALLY get Real-Time Multiplayer… on iOS only

December 12th, 2013 by

rr3_multi_update

Electronic Arts and Firemonkeys are about to make a lot of racing fans either really happy or really sad with its next update.

In addition to the two new cars, the Lamborghini Veneno and McLaren P1, the game is finally getting the much sought after real-time multiplayer in addition to the standard asynchronous time-shifted events.

The catch? Real-Time Multiplayer uses GameCenter and, thus, is available only to iOS players. And, thus, the great divide widens as if millions of Android users cried out in anger and were suddenly ignored. You may as well get your popcorn ready, because the “statistically, more people use Android” outrageous butthurt festival is about to begin over on their Google Play page.

BOYU PVP Game Station brings generic to a new level

November 26th, 2013 by

boyu_pvpI stumbled across the BOYU PVP Game Station while checking out a crane game variant here in Korea. If a picture speaks a thousand words, I suggest you take a look above and let this picture marinate for a bit. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Done? Cool.

Here’s what I love about this system:

  • The oxymoron of  “GAMES 900,000 BUILT-IN”  on “Complimentary two cassetes”.
  • The obvious and awful take on the PSP that could only originate from China.
  • Is BOYU a take on OUYA, itself a system only useful for emulation?
  • MORE BRIGHTER!
  • FLAMING SOCCER BALL!!!
  • Check out that awesome button layout. “FONY” has to be a happy coincidence, right?

There’s some kind of kitschy goodness to be found here.

I spent five bucks trying to get my grubby mitts on this piece of trash out of morbid curiosity for an unboxing video and what would surely be every game for every emulator it could handle with numerous copies, but the insanely-rigged machine continued to solidify the old “a fool and his money soon part ways” adage.


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