It’s almost as lame as any comic book written by Tony Bedard. Seriously, how does that hack keep finding work but Chuck Austen was a pariah? You comic book nerds know what I’m talking about, or are you still upset that Juggernaut and She-Hulk shared a moment?

Today, we cover a variety of games on iOS, though Guacamelee keeps it from being entirely iOS-centric. Slayin’, Final Fantasy V, and troublesome in-app purchases all come to mind. It’s a hot mess, but you want some of this hotness.

Also, while I can’t prove my opening claim that we’re the only podcast to talk about Pink Jelly Tits, I’d bet dollars to donuts that we are. Pink jelly-filled donuts that you can stick your fingers in and then lick clean. It smells so fresh and tastes like strawberries.

iTunes Link: Delta Attack Podcast

In this episode of the Delta Attack Podcast, the DA Crew meet up with Stanley and Peabody in the Wayback Machine. Things get fractured, but you will believe a squirrel can fly. Moose? Not so much.

Today, Fade to Slack goes on the attack when defending Real Racing 3, Markham Asylum tells us about Etrian Odyssey IV and how the best JRPG franchise you probably haven’t played just got better, and Mark A. Brooks talks about the gratuitous fun of MonTowers. Somehow or another, we reminisce about a game you wouldn’t catch most gamers looking back fondly upon, but we own it. You only live once, kids.

Note: We have a few moments of broken audio from internet latency issues. We apologize for the technical difficulties. It’ll likely happen again, so I won’t give you that spiel. Just giving you a head’s up. It doesn’t last long, we promise. Thank you, Audacity!

Hit the start button, break out your zapper, and get ready for some mega fun.

iTunes Link: Delta Attack Podcast

Join Mark A. Brooks, Markham Asylum, and Fade to Slack as they talk about the Wii U woes, the problems with the next console generation, iOS, and unintentional Engrish. It’s like when you realize that chocolate and peanut butter isn’t enough and throw in some marshmallow creme for good measure, except without all the weight gain and secretive sobbing afterwards.

This episode of the Delta Attack Podcast is sponsored by SPAM. Except that it’s not. I’m just really hungry. I fried up some SPAM and tossed it into a can of Hormel Vegetarian Chili with Beans for a surprisingly tasty dish.

SPAM’s not technically a meat, right? I’m sure my diet’s going fine.

iTunes Link: Delta Attack Podcast

This episode of the Delta Attack Podcast kicks off the new year by completely ignoring the new year.  If you want to listen to some gamers talk about New Year’s Resolutions, you’ve come to the wrong place. Also, we’re fine the way we are. I’m not a diaper, so stop trying to change me!

Today’s podcast features a discussion about the Wii U, the upcoming Android-based OUYA console, and why 2D games are superior to 3D when it comes to some genres. Two steps forward, one step retro. Also, a couple of dirty gaming secrets, some curse words, and an inability to stay on topic round out the show.

Overture, curtain, lights.
This is it, the night of nights!
No more rehearsing or nursing our part.
We know every part by heart!

Overture, curtain, lights.
This is it, we’ll hit the heights!
And, oh, what heights we’ll hit.
On with the show, this is it!

This is the Delta Attack Podcast.

iTunes Link: Delta Attack Podcast

The DA Crew triangulates to bring you this nerdy little slice of heaven. Contrary to what the song says, heaven can’t wait.

Today’s episode covers a short discussion on Final Fantasy IV. Well, short for us. Then we glaze over how Mother 3 made Fade cry like he just watched a puppy fall into a running blender. Ni no Kuni makes an appearance for people who love Level 5 and Studio Ghibli, which SHOULD be everyone. Then we just… yeah… we talk. Things get weird… more than once.

Honestly, this is a hodgepodge potpourri variety pack of a show, but you’ve got time to spare.

iTunes Link: Delta Attack Podcast

Today’s podcast is different than the rest. One man, one mission, one microphone. Today, the cheese stands alone.

Join Fade to Slack as he delves through a variety of topics such as the iPad 4 (which he mistakenly refers to as the iPhone4 a few times) and iPad Mini launch, the Zynga layoffs and the first three games that will be closing up, the Nintendo Wii-U, Rocketcat’s Punch Quest failing to earn money, and anything else he was too lazy to write about.

Take your rest breaks and grab your snacks, the show’s about to start. This is the “One Man Show.”

iTunes Link: Delta Attack Podcast

Sucky game!
Everything’s… kind of lame.
Why’d I pay to play this stu-pid thing?
Can you tell me why did I…
Why did I buy a sequelized game?

We’ve all bought sequels to the games we loved in the past. It’s understandable. But over time and multiple iterations, the things we loved about original game get lost in the name of progress. Sometimes a creative change is to blame. Other times, well, it’s the times that are a-changin’.

The key to a successful franchise? Make a game that people love, then make a sequel that does slightly more of what they love. Then, ditch all the people who made those games great and give the next team a list of things to throw into the next installment with no idea of how to implement them. Maybe draw a picture or something. Money follows!

Join Mark A. Brooks, Markham Asylum, and Fade to Slack as Delta Attack chats about games and what we’re just sick of seeing. Great franchises don’t die, they just get worse and worse because the built-in-audience will pay for them regardless. How does Ed Boon still have a job…?

iTunes Link: Delta Attack Podcast

T

Today’s episode kicks off with a discussion of “The World Ends with You – Solo Remix” and “Final Fantasy Dimensions,” because we grew up in a time when Square didn’t suck and still hand them money hand over fist. Afterwards, we move onto our top five iOS games and knit sweaters.

Get ready, get set, get your headphones! Delta Attack is going straight to your head.

iTunes Link: Delta Attack Podcast

In this episode of the Delta Attack Podcast, the boys hijack Mister Peabody’s Wayback Machine and talk about console games that totally don’t appeal to their target audience. Seriously, you crazy kids, what with your Apple Pie Phones and that Justine Beaver girl with the angel’s voice, don’t know how easy you got it. When I was young, there was no retro. That’s just the way things were. There were no narratives. You saved the princess and you liked it!

Today’s podcast is actually inspired Rob Gordon, the main character of High Fidelity. Rob Gordon’s constant need to sort things into top five lists made me think that we could do a few as well without any prior knowledge or planning. We ended up doing just one.

You’ve played hundreds, maybe thousands, of games. Can you break that down to your top five all-time favorite games? Don’t think too hard about it. Just toss them out there. Hell, drop it in the comments. You’ll have the advantage of forethought that we didn’t have.

Spoiler alert: The three guys from a site named after a three-person attack that appears in numerous Final Fantasy games each named a Final Fantasy game.

iTunes Link: Delta Attack Podcast

That, or we give our impressions on Tiny Wings 2.0 and Rovio’s Amazing Alex for iOS and Theatrhythm on 3DS. Then, we look at two very different Kickstarter campaigns in OUYA and Penny Arcade. Finally, we talk about the graphical leap in the upcoming generations and wonder aloud if game graphics are about to plateau.

Hurry! Grab your snacks. The show’s about to start.

iTunes Link: Delta Attack Podcast

What happens when a new iOS-device owner gets sucked into the world of Paladog!? What’s Paladog!?! No, that’s not a coin block. I’m upset that you don’t know about the best game to come out of South Korea that just happens to have its own exclamation point.

Finally, the big news out of E3 was SmartGlass, not Nintendo’s Wii-U. Listen as we quickly glaze over it because, really, if that’s the biggest news out of E3, then you may as well close up shop.

Be honest. You have 64 minutes to spare. It’s cool. You can multitask. We don’t mind.

iTunes Link: Delta Attack Podcast

Delta Attack brings you the yet another nerd smorgasbord. Sit down. It’s time to eat.

Keep up with Delta Attack over on Twitter @DeltaAttack for your latest updates.

iTunes Link: Delta Attack Podcast

Ladies and gentlemen, join Delta Attack contributors Mark A. Brooks, Markham Asylum, and Fade to Slack for their monthly roundtable discussion.

In this episode, we talk about many different topics and games. What starts as a discussion about the legitimacy of iOS as a gaming platform nosedives into a hodgepodge of off-topic treats. Marvel at one man’s recognition that he may be too old and out of touch to relate to core gamers. Listen to a conversation about Diablo 3 transform into a discussion about South Korea’s lack of an Auction House feature and Korean laws meant to curtail natural selection. And then watch as Fade to Slack does his best Thanos impression and talks about being pro-death.

By the way, you look stunning today. I just couldn’t go on any longer without telling you that.

iTunes Link: Delta Attack Podcast

Are there old games with deep nostalgic roots that you’d love to see get a follow-up title? Or are there perhaps newer games that so brilliantly captured your imagination that you’re just dying for more? We feel the same way, and in this podcast, Mr. Brooks, Fade to Slack, and myself share our thoughts on the games we’d most like to see get sequelized. So if you can stand to listen to our dork-ass voices for an hour, check it out:

iTunes Link: Delta Attack Podcast
Direct Download: Sequels We’d Love to See

Here are the games we brought up intentionally, though many others are discussed in passing:

• ActRaiser
• Chrono Trigger
• Darkstalkers
• Etrian Odyssey
• Final Fantasy Tactics
• Half-Life
• Jet Set Radio
• King Arthur’s World
• Left 4 Dead
• Mega Man Powered Up
• Mega Man X
• Mega Man Maverick Hunter X
• Plants vs. Zombies
• Portal
• Secret of Mana
• Shenmue
• Uncharted Waters
• Valkyria Chronicles
• Vandal Hearts
• Wasteland
• The World Ends with You